i always thought of a king sized bed as being a bit bigger than a queen, but now that i have one, i can tell you that a king sized bed is an absurdity. i can sprawl out, and my husband can sprawl out, and the cat can sprawl out, and none of us are touching. i reach out in the night, and find only pillows and plush walruses. i reach further and eventually find his elbow. he rolls over the comforters to try and find me. “i have crossed oceans of bed to be with you,” he says. there is a vast expanse of bed untouched, unmapped, unexplored. the cat is still trying to sleep on my face.
lots of folks saying “oh you should see the california king” but
in a california king we would actually be four inches closer
maybe they’re putting their california kings sideways
Consider though: the Alaska King.
i can’t believe i have to buy a new mattress AGAIN
the Alaskan and Wyoming King bed sizes are aptly named, as they are both very large but each contain about like two or three people
a jersey king is a broken futon with five drunk people sleeping over on it
^^this fucking killed me
you mean there’s beds that are ACTUALLY JUST SQUARE?????
I WANT A SQUARE BED
SQUARE BED SQUARE BED SQUARE BED
OK, OK, but consider this: Cubic Bed.
… am I the only one who thinks that the Alaska King is required to, at the very least, have crab-themed linens, and preferably some sort of crab-themed bedframe?
i have no idea why you would think that but i am inordinately curious why
Alaskan King Crab! They’re the flippin’ huge crabs (leg span of 5-6′) that crazy bastards fish for in the Bering Sea. Prized for the meat in their extra-long leggies. Subject of the Discovery show Deadliest Catch. Kinda creepy looking, but very tasty.
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