Spiders blamed after broken siren played creepy nursery rhymes randomly at night to UK townsfolk

copperbadge:

timberwolfoz:

boopifer:

tom-marvolo-dildo:

mothermayhem:

unpretty:

tl;dr this woman was hearing creepy phantom nursery rhymes every night and it turned out to be a local industrial building’s alarm system, being triggered by spiders on the motion detectors

which is all well and good but “we investigated the creepy nursery rhymes, and it turns out it’s spiders” is one hell of a true statement

You left out the best part!

The alarm was at some kind of industrial building, and is apparently SUPPOSED to play creepy nursery rhymes, to deter criminals from breaking in in the middle of the night! It was just turned up too loud, and too sensitive, so it was being triggered by spiders. 

That’s some creative theft-deterrent there. If you’re breaking in to a place, you kind of expect to hear a burglar alarm. You’re prepared for that, and you’re prepared to grab and go once it goes off.

But if you hear a creepy kid’s voice singing nursery rhymes at a seemingly abandoned industrial building in the middle of the night, you’re going to shit your pants and get the fuck out, in that order. 

Give the guy who thought that up a promotion.

holy shit thay video is terrifying i should not have watched that alone

@thunderboltsortofapenny 😳

@copperbadge This seems right up your alley.  For the retelling anyway.

I have to admit I had seen the headline several times but figured it was some kind of clickbait because what kind of alarm system plays nursery rhymes, but now I understand THE BEST KIND 😀 

Spiders blamed after broken siren played creepy nursery rhymes randomly at night to UK townsfolk

madmaudlingoes:

sergeant-angels-trashcan:

thegestianpoet:

chris hemsworth is like a DnD character whose class 100% does not require a high charisma stat but he put it as his highest stat anyways like “hmm I think it will be useful (:” so he just walks around as a muscle-bound brawler who can also inexplicably get anything he wants from anyone by smiling at them 

Him and Terry Crews

Terry Crews: high-level fighter who also multiclassed into bard, for some reason.

Chris Hemsworth: that barbarian who loves to knit.

plain-flavoured-english:

Storytime. Cooking in a different country makes you realize how many things you take for granted are just, Not A Thing Here. Like apple juice. Surely you can find apple juice at your local Athenian grocery store, right? Wrong. Greeks drink orange juice and peach juice and mixed fruit juice and sour cherry juice, but… plain old apple juice, nope, not so much. You’ll have a hard time finding vanilla extract in Greece too, since Greeks are used to vanilla powder in little plastic capsules and you have to go to specialty shops for the liquid stuff. Sour cream is virtually nonexistent here (but hey, it’s the land of yogurt, which is a good enough substitute). But surprisingly cornmeal (which is a specialty ingredient in the UK) is everywhere, since Greeks have their own versions of cornbread and corn pudding.

So basically: I knew it might be impossible find vegetable shortening (aka Crisco) for my Thanksgiving pie crust here in Athens. Crisco is pretty uniquely American, and Greeks are more likely to use phyllo than shortcrust anyway. That said, there are a handful of specialty shops in central Athens that sell things like Heinz baked beans and custard powder and Worcestershire sauce and other Weird Foreign Foods™ so us Sad Homesick Expats don’t have to go hungry (I’m always reminded of A Passage to India and their corned beef and tinned peas). So I went on Skroutz (the search engine for buying stuff in Greece) and typed in “vegetable shortening” to see if any stores carried it.

A notification came up asking me to confirm that I was over 18 years old?

???

I clicked “yes”??

Turns out there is, in fact, one shop in Athens that carries vegetable shortening. It’s a sex shop. The shortening is listed under “sex essentials”, as lube. For fisting. It’s literally called “βούτυρο για fisting” – “butter for fisting”.

I decided I didn’t need a flaky pie crust that badly.