“look, it’s not like i hid anything, it just never came up!”
“You called yourself out for ‘straighsplaining’“
the whole bi thing goes completely over charles’ head and he keeps getting really aggro like “oh you and jake were real close huh?? too bad, sucker jake is MY best friend!”
everybody else is like “charles no”
at the end john mulaney turns out to be the embezzler they’ve been looking for
honestly missionaries are evil. the idea of traveling the world to tell people Who Didnt Fucking Ask that their beliefs are wrong in the hopes that theyll adopt your beliefs seems sinister
An Inuit hunter asked the local missionary priest: “If I did not know about God and sin, would I go to hell?”
“No,” said the priest, “not if you did not know.”
“Then why,” asked the Inuit earnestly, “did you tell me?”
occasionally the universe orders one of its many snipers to fire a warning shot at me. not to cause any (physical) harm, mind you. they’re just reminders that the universe hates me and could snuff out my puny little life anytime it wishes.
today that warning shot came in the form of my microwave burrito being completely empty. no filling. just tortilla.
how can you look at this and still believe the world is kind and just
Guess who got asked to prom! BY A STRAIGHT GUY (Army pants). he’s my best friend, and a real man given the fact he has the guts to fulfill my gay student council dream of always helping out planning dances, and never getting asked. I couldn’t ask for a better person in my life.
Thank you Jacob can’t wait for May 2nd!
I’m still crying.
What the fuck those blue tuxes are the sharpest thing I’ve ever seen
Rebloging because I finally got to see how it ended up omg this warms my heart so much I’m crying
this. this right here. this is the content i joined this website for